| Overcoming Fears: Lowering The Gradient In An Effort To Meet Girls And Connect With Women Last week one of my friends asked a question which i thought was worth talking about. He asked me how to overcome fears that pop up at times - even when things are going good. The truth is it is not a simple question to reply to as it varies for every person. There are literally entire books that have been written on that subject alone. However, one of the best ways I have used to overcome my fears generally involves lowering the gradient. What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to reach the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will begin to build up a "complex" regarding failing, and soon not try anymore. If you try to jump up five or six steps in your first try, it will also be scary - not necessarily impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you may fail too. The correct approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable method to climb a ladder. Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in meeting women and dating women: As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. This can be particularly frightening. So when I am approaching a good looking woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of lots of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and just say "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a means to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she is not interested in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - so I don't feel shot down in front of many people. If I am starting to date a woman and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Would you like to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't wish to be alone with me, getting cozy at my place. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her gentle touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal. These are some examples. If you feel awkward and fearful just try to consider a lower gradient that isn't as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will learn how to meet women and the way to connect with them very quickly. Mr. Right Does Not Exist At All You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won't find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn't among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is "what". Blind Date Compared To Internet Date - Which Method Will Be Successful Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date - a friend of a friend of a friend. The Best Manual To Know About A Man's Techniques To Successful On-Line Dating Here are some important and effective tips on how to effectively avoid scaring women away while chatting with them online. The Benefits Of Internet Dating For Ladies In the past, i.e. the 1990's, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC's or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream. A Lady's Self-Help Guide To Writing A Great Profile For Online Dating Sites To Have The Partner Easily OK ... the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile... the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams... but where to start? Is Mr. L. Rx A Con? Is His Writing Dating To Relating Another Mislead? Mr. L. Rx says somewhere on his website "Why double your dating when you can 10 x it?" And this is comparably the truth. From personal experience the order of magnitude of his technology will get you about 5 times as many women as any of the other technologies. How Will I Get The Right Dating Internet Site For Me To Use? There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians...like I said...almost anything you can think of. So what's a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs. Related Posts
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